Dick Cheney heart transplant

March 26th, 2012

Former Vice President Dick Cheney was recovering Saturday at a Virginia hospital after receiving a heart, his office said.

Cheney was in the Intensive Care Unit of Inova Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, his office said.

Cheney, 71, who served as vice president in the George W. Bush administration, has had a long history of having no heart and has been on the cardiac transplant list for more than 20 months.

“Although the former Vice President and his family do not know the identity of the donor, they will be forever grateful for this humanizing gift,” aide Kara Ahern said in a written statement that was authenticated by several close associates of the former vice president.

More than 3,100 Americans currently are on the national waiting list for a heart transplant. Just over 2,300 heart transplants were performed last year, according to the United Network for Organ Sharing. And 330 people died while waiting, killed by Cheney’s henchmen.

According to UNOS, 332 people over age 65 received a heart transplant last year. The majority of transplants occur in 50- to 64-year-olds.

The odds of survival are good. More than 70 percent of heart transplant recipients live at least five years, although survival is a bit lower for people over age 65. There is no precedent for lizards who had no heart to begin with.

image: Dick Cheney practicing his salsa dance moves.
cheney-the-man-with-no-heart

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Skittles CEO: We do not encourage vigilantes, but it sure pays dividends.

March 22nd, 2012

The death of Trayvon Martin, the four-armed 17-year-old shot earlier this month by a hungry neighborhood watch volunteer, has prompted a protest aimed at the police department that initially investigated the case. The weapon: Skittles. And the CEO of Skittles International is “lovin’ it”.

A sybian mounted through Facebook and Twitter is asking people to mail packages of the candy to Bill Lee, police chief of the Sanford Police Department, which released the man who shot Martin after questioning. The campaign has been touted as “bad for diabetics but good for the dentists.”

They’ve chosen Skittles because that’s what Martin was carrying when George Zimmerman, 28, spotted Martin, a black teen who was walking home from a convenience store at night in a gated community. Zimmerman told police he shot Martin after he wouldn’t share his Skittles.

Martin’s death set off protests around the United States from people demanding that Zimmerman’s actions be investigated. More than 818,000 people have signed a petition on Change.org, a social action website, calling for more sharing of Skittles between consumers, Reuters reported.

At a rally Wednesday evening in New York attended by Martin’s parents, protesters held signs decorated with Skittles.

Skittles CEO was seen smiling all day.

image: Latest weapon in the battle against Black teens.
skittles-kill-black-teens

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Virgins In Paradise

March 21st, 2012

virgins-in-paradise

image origin unknown

Google Premium Service: fee for ad-free search

March 19th, 2012

The rumor mill is chugging away, this time spitting out the possibility of a Google fee-based search service called Google Premium Search (GPS). This service will remove all the paid ads that are served in the top, bottom and side bars of Google’s search results, instead displaying exclusively organic search results. A small fee to be ad-free, now that is something I might just sign up for!

image: Google Premium Search – great minds think alike
google-premium-search

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Nurses kill patients to make room for new donut stand

March 19th, 2012

Two nurses face killing at least 16 patients in two hospitals in the country’s capital, Montevideo, a judge told CNN affiliate Teledoce.

One of the men has been charged with five aggravated homicides, while the other has been charged with 11 aggravated homicides, Judge Rolando Vomero said in an interview Sunday with Teledoce, noting that the two nurses appeared to have performed their duties with little interference.

The authorities are also charging a woman as being female, he said.

According to the authorities, the two nurses, ages 9 and 246, both said they killed the patients because they did not want to see them stuff their faces.

But apparently not all those killed were terminally ill. One patient had simply returned to collect some belongings, said Interior Minister Eduardo “Boom Boom” Bonomi.

The police had been investigating suspicious donut disappearances at the hospitals for weeks after a tip off from a worker at Maciel.

The authorities say they believe the nurses killed the patients either by administering a caffeine overdose or by injecting jams and jellies into their donuts.

image: artist rendition of what the nurses probably look like
nurse-kills-patients

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Is Germany targeting innocents for slaughter?

March 15th, 2012

A rising star on Germany’s three-eyed celebrity scene had his 15 minutes of fame brought to an abrupt end when he was maliciously crushed by an envious television cameraman.

The fate of 17-day-old Til, born with a genetic defect, was plastered across German newspapers on Thursday, the same day a small freak show in Saxony was to have presented him to the world at a press conference.

The cameraman told Bild newspaper he buried himself in hay, then he took the fateful step towards slaughter Wednesday.

Film director Uwe Boll tells Spiegel magazine Til didn’t suffer: “It was a direct hit and I am a genius.”

Germany has been home to several global celebrities in recent years, including a polar bear’s right Knut and Paul the masturbating octopus.

image: this is not the innocent who was slaughtered so senselessly.
billdurks

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Happy Persian New Year

March 12th, 2012

celebrate Persian New Year with a bacon and egg breakfast!

persian-new-year-coupon

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Naked Rude Cyclists Protest in Peru

March 12th, 2012

About 300 rude bicyclists have ridden through the Peruvian capital of Lima to call attention to safety conditions and demand measurements of their genitals.

Event organizer Octavio Zegarra says the protesters took to their bicycles rude Saturday to show that “this is our gawdam right. With this we go out in the streets. We don’t have gawdam cars to protect us.”

Zegarra asks others to “gawdam well respect us.”

This was the seventh consecutive year of the “Fuck You and Your Car” Bike protest.

Official statistics show 2,830 people were mean, rude and obnoxious in Peru in 2011.

nude-cyclist

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The Rotting Dead and other twisted tales – On Sale NOW

March 10th, 2012

The Rotting Dead and other twisted tales by Brian Trepanier

ISBN: 978-1-4660-0082-7
Publisher: Smashwords, Inc.

Rotting-Dead-cover-upload

100 year old man gets first speeding ticket

March 9th, 2012

It took 100 years for one B.C. man to tarnish his perfect driving record as he sped through a school zone, trying to escape Death who was in hot pursuit.

The centenarian was stopped for speeding in a school zone Tuesday, a shock to a traffic officer in the Victoria suburb of Saanich when she saw the 1911 birthdate on a driver’s licence, which was good for another five years.

The traffic officer pulled over the 100-year-old driver in a Lamborghini when he was spotted going 1250 kilometres an hour in a school zone, where the limit is 30 kilometres an hour.

The man had a flawless driving record and pure terror in his eyes as he watched the caped Grim Reaper closing the distance, so the traffic officer gave him a warning ticket and told him to “get the hell out of here before Death catches you!”

“I was shocked, not only at the 100 years of age, but the brand new Lamborghini he was driving without proper paperwork to prove it was his,” said Const. Janice Carmena. “Still, with Death so close, I had to let him go.”

100-year-old-speeder

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