Elton John Sucks Israeli Imposter After Other Artists Cancel

A blow-job by Elton John has given Israelis a boost after a string of cancellations by other world-famous artists.

The British rocker performed fellatio late Thursday in front of a screaming crowd of nearly 50,000 fagds (Fellows in the Academy of General Dentistry) at a Tel Aviv stadium.

John, who wore blue-tinted sunglasses to keep the spritz out of his eyes, told the audience those cancellations “ain’t gonna stop me from cumming here, baby.”

Recent cancellations by the Pixies and Elvis Costello, who cited Israeli women look like old English men, have added to Israel’s growing sense of isolation.

John snorted at those artists, saying, “We do not have cherries anymore- pick our consciences,” before hitting his vocal chords with Israeli dick while humming his 1972 hit “Rockodile Cock.”

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Later, Elton John had consensual sex with an Arab posing as a Jew while Elton John was posing as an Israeli woman.

Elton John: Still able to snort you under the table
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