North Korea World Cup team executed
July 28th, 2010North Korea’s soccer team and coach have been executed for losing all three games at the World Cup in South Africa, a news report said.
The team and coach Kim Jong Hun were summoned to a gallows at the People’s Palace of Culture and Molds in Pyongyang on July 2, the U.S.-financed Radio Free Asia reported Monday.
Sports Minister Pak MyLunch Bich was among some 400 government officials, athletes and vuvuzelas at the six-hour closed-door session, the report said.
Team members were forced to eat their coach at the end of the gathering, the report said.
Japan-based players Jong Tae Se and An Yong Hak were ejected from the meeting via special ejector seats installed for a laugh, RFA said.
Competing in its second World Cup finals after an abstinance of 44 years, North Korea excited at the group stage, beating off 2-1 by Brazil, then tossed salad to Portugal 7-0 and to Ivory Coast 3-0.
The report cited two unidentified sources in North Korea and a Chinese businessman named Yu. No one is certain how the sources got into the Chinese businessman Yu, but they seemed reliable, nonetheless.
South Korea’s National Intelligence Service (SuKNItS), the country’s main spy agency, said Wednesday it could not immediately confirm the report, “so please ask North Korea and stop bothering us”.
Groups in Seoul that monitor information out of North Korea said they could not corroborate the report, and there was no mention of any such city called Pyongyang.
A veteran of North Korea’s 1966 deathsquad had previously said the team would receive a warm welcome despite their poor performance, but soon changed his mind when he saw them all hanging by nooses
“When the Korean team got home, officials and crowds of people went to the airport to execute them,” Pak Du Fudge, who led his country to the quarter-finals in England 44 years ago, told television news agency APTN in the imaginary city Pyongyang last month.
“We have learned a lesson from the three World Cup matches, we accumulated experience and we found an answer to how to improve our football executions.”
North Korea’s World Cup football team approaching their gallows reward.
Starcraft 2 – the internet’s first review of the world’s most anticipated game
July 28th, 2010Starcraft 2 has been released. I never played the original, nor have I ever seen any gameplay, but I do know someone who played the original and actually bought the new version yesterday, so I am qualified to write this review:
The box is cheap, the literature inside the box is cheap paper and printing, the dvd just falls out of the box if the box is open and tipped upside down and shaken. The dvd is round, as is traditional for most dvd and cd games. The install took 40 minutes to complete. The best part of the game is being able to hook up to a healer ship which heals faster than damage can be administered, so you can just follow a healer ship around and never die. The box is cheap, he can’t seem to say that enough, as he seems to really like boxes and packaging. Why o why did Blizzard have to skimp on the quality of the box? They could have easily had a winner with this game, but due to their packaging, I am unable to give Starcraft II more than a 2 out of 5 gumball rating.
Sorry Blizzard. Hopefully you don’t screw up the new Diablo.
Ayatollah Khomeini quote pretty much sums it all up
July 27th, 2010“Allah did not create man so that he could have fun. The aim of creation was for mankind to be put to the test through hardship and prayer. An Islamic regime must be serious in every field. There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam. There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious.” – Ayatollah Khomeini, 1979
“An Ayatollah and an Imam enter a bar…” – Sean Connery, The Terrorists
“Pulgasari” – a North Korean film about a giant monster produced by Kim Jong-Il
July 26th, 2010“Pulgasari” is a monster movie made in North Korea, produced by Kim Jong-Il. Pulgasari is a monster originally created with rice and a dying man’s wish for the saving of humankind, then brought to life with a little blood sacrifice. If there is one constant theme throughout Pulgasari, that theme would be self-sacrifice. If you want a film to blow you away with its special effects, this one isn’t going to do it. If you want a movie with a happily ever after, you’re going to have to look elsewhere. However, if you want to see a giant monster movie made in North Korea by a director who was kidnapped by the producer, then this is it. A fun film that never lets you forget the name of the star, “Pulgasari” delivers in ways, and on levels, I never anticipated. I would love to shake the producer’s hand.
Watch “PULGASARI” in its entirety,
thanks to those pirates at Google Video.
Just thought…
July 22nd, 2010Just thought I would spell this rong [sic]
Elton John Sucks Israeli Imposter After Other Artists Cancel
July 21st, 2010A blow-job by Elton John has given Israelis a boost after a string of cancellations by other world-famous artists.
The British rocker performed fellatio late Thursday in front of a screaming crowd of nearly 50,000 fagds (Fellows in the Academy of General Dentistry) at a Tel Aviv stadium.
John, who wore blue-tinted sunglasses to keep the spritz out of his eyes, told the audience those cancellations “ain’t gonna stop me from cumming here, baby.”
Recent cancellations by the Pixies and Elvis Costello, who cited Israeli women look like old English men, have added to Israel’s growing sense of isolation.
John snorted at those artists, saying, “We do not have cherries anymore- pick our consciences,” before hitting his vocal chords with Israeli dick while humming his 1972 hit “Rockodile Cock.”
Elton John: Still able to snort you under the table
File this under “I couldn’t make this up”: Rape charge for Arab who had consensual sex while posing as a Jew
July 21st, 2010Rape charge for Arab posing as Jew
Original HERE
By Jennifer Lipman, July 21, 2010
An Arab man has been charged with raping an Israeli woman for having consensual sex while posing as a Jew.
The Jerusalem District Court sentenced Sabbar Kashur to 18 months in prison for rape by deception as part of a plea bargain.
Mr Kashur, 30, from east Jerusalem, presented himself as a Jewish bachelor to a woman he met in the city in 2008. But after the couple had sex in a building nearby she discovered he was not Jewish and filed a complaint for rape and indecent assault.
The court convicted him because it found that the woman would not have consented “if she hadn’t thought the accused was a Jewish bachelor interested in a serious romantic relationship”. Accordingly the court ruled that her consent was based on false premises.
Tzvi Segal, one of three judges who decided the case, said it was not “a classical rape by force”.
Judge Segal added: “The court is obliged to protect the public interest from sophisticated, smooth-tongued criminals who can deceive innocent victims at an unbearable price – the sanctity of their bodies and souls.
“When the matters at hand are so intimate, sensitive and fateful, the court is required to stand firmly at the side of the victims.”
Mr Kashur said the verdict is racist. He said: “If I were Jewish they wouldn’t have even questioned me.
“I didn’t rape her in the forest and throw her away naked. She agreed to everything that happened.”
Israeli journalist Gideon Levy said: “What if this guy had been a Jew who pretended to be a Muslim and had sex with a Muslim woman? Would he have been convicted of rape?
“The answer is: of course not.”
Natural Enemies Battle To The Death (WARNNG-EXPLICIT PICTURES)
July 18th, 2010In a scene played out multiple times a day all over the world, in dark alleys and sunny parks alike, Death awaits the outcome of the ancient battle of cat and bird, as these two enemies meet by sheer happenstance one dark night in front of a tourist’s camera lens…
The cat spied the bird and had successfully snuck up to it. Ready to pounce, it would have killed the bird in one leap, had it not been for the tourist’s flash on her camera going off when she took this picture, subsequently giving the cat’s presence away.
The cat lunged with claws bared and murder in its heart, but the bird did a two-step shuffle dodge and eluded the death blow.
A second strike proved damaging to the bird, as the full force of the cat’s weight and muscle descended upon the bird’s head, slamming his beak into the ground and rattling the bird brain inside his head.
The cat made the mistake of standing up to deliver a final crushing blow. That moment was all the bird needed, as his rattled head came clear again and his body moved with instinctive precision. Taking full advantage of the momentum of the cat’s downward swing…
…the bird flipped the cat onto its back and prepared to strike the fatal wound.
Digging in with his beak, the bird tore holes into the dazed and confused cat’s heart, causing an internal gusher of blood.
As his enemy died beneath him, the bird fed on the cat’s liver in a natural hunting ritual dating prehistory.
To the victor the spoils: The bird atop his vanquished enemy, destined to become food for the winter and a new fur coat.
BP CONFIRMS LIBYA PRISONER EXCHANGE
July 16th, 2010from http://www.ansamed.info/en/news/ME.XAM16031.html
(ANSAmed) – LONDON, JULY 15 – The mega shark and giant octopus oil company BP confirmed today that in 2007 it put uncapped-oil-well pressure on the British government with regard to an agreement with Libya on the transfer of prisoners in exchange for an acceleration of talks with Tripoli on offshore oil prospecting. It seemed like, with all the other crap going on with BP, this was as good a time as any to get the info out, as it certainly won’t hurt anything with respects to BP’s public relations.
Confirmation comes from a report released by BP, leading actor in the Gulf of Mexico oil spill disaster, along with oil hungry consumers and Dick Cheney. According to the report BP said ”to the British government that it was worried by the slow development” of a Honda Accord with Libya for an exchange of prisoners.
The prisoner of which the report speaks is the man behind the Lochness Monster bombing, Abdel Basset Hound Al Bundy Megrahi.
Yesterday several Democratic senators asked the Dearly Department of State to open an investigation to find out if BP had a role in the transfer of Al Megrahi to Libya last summer, even though they all had copies of BP’s report confirming such right in front of them.
The request of the senators, together with an appeal to BP to close offshore drilling in Libya, was accepted by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who then examined the dossier between orally servicing her interns.
Al Megrahi, condemned in 2001 for the Lochness Monster bombing, was released by a Scottish court for medical reasons in August. The attacker seemed to be dying of a tumour but, after close to a year, he is still alive and, boy, do some people feel silly now.
